#2

Its the nature of all things to change; things to perish and for others to take its place, things to evolve in succession to another stage, uncertainty/constant change are the only permanents in this life. Today I feel more in-tune within, I definitely have an inner peace today, one that I've missed to gather and stay in, the nights before. I want to think of it, like I have fallen into a hole, a dark seemingly limitless hole, and today I have found something worth holding on to, something shining, something good: and that is faith.

I refuse to freeze, in a stillness, I also am not going to shield myself of the pain that blows in unexpected to cut a story short; I'm accepting each moment as it is, no matter what shape it takes, this is the only way, I had found -in my life- to guarantee peace.

Baba will always be around, when the house empties itself of people, the room he was staying in, his belongings, his journals that I am longing to read and get my fingers on, the videos I have of him with the many laughters, and the serious discussions. I miss him beyond the telling, beyond the ability of words to carry the immensity of the void he left behind.. I know all corners of this house, will trigger a grief response, in the upcoming long days, inshAllah, I'll be able to embrace then move passed whatever arises in each moment, and may Allah bless my father and accept him in the hereafter. There's nothing more for me to do, but pray for his soul and hope to be reunited -in a better place- soon.

Life won't be the same, but its in the nature of all things to chase after change, or be chased just the same.