17

In the cold night we escape the dark
Leaning in I whisper
'Welcome to my life...
Sweet agony, oh my god, be patient for we are not smart
Let me in clean me out, I wanna begin with a brand new start
Where i'll be a little kid playing thoughtlessly in my father's crib
Oh I wish I'd never have to face the amount of pain I'll later embrace
I wish I could just stay still and never encounter the devil's grin
I wish I never had to make any friend, just so I could get an enemy instead
I wish I knew how much my childhood meant, I would have never left my parents bed
I wish I've known my mother's love, waking up at six o'clock
Ensuring that I always rest, she stays up by my bed
Showing me affection in every way, at seventeen it's hard to say
"I love you mom with all my heart" you're the light that guides me through the coldest nights
The power it took me to leave you behind, I always ask myself the reason why
I never knew how much you meant to me, you only fight me just to save me
You made me who I am today, tomorrow is coming to change that away
The world isn't as magical as you said, I'm afraid to take one step
Don't look back at how things used to be, this is Me this is my reality
Oh lord, please remember me I'm the girl with the empty dairy
with nothing to write and nothing for you to read
It's save to say I've lived enough to see
My life in all it's glory in every picture there's a story
Set the fire watch it burn, taking away all my desire.'

Untitled

I often look and ask
Without a direction or past
I lose my call and wander on
To where no clouds surround
Maybe love exists in places
Where hearts yet to claim
Or maybe I'm just hopeless
Waiting to be claimed.
Years they pass by and little
Did I notice
The people that I love either gone
Or left me broken
It was 'me' this 'always me'
That made a great deal out of misery
Words can't wound the soul it broke
So why would you come back to hurt me more?
Once we had it so close to magic
I always knew love is sweet but also tragic
It takes two and only a habit
To go as far as others allow it
And in the end takes only one
To break a heart leave it and run
Days are the same with or without
The family we choose to trust and doubt
And how many times can we say
We're okay you can take it away
How twisted is this circle gonna be
Next time around you won't even see
Lies isolating everyone you knew
In the morning you're replaced by someone new.