Lovey-Dovey moments:
(Psycho girl edition)
Guy:"God, I love your smile. I can look at it forever."
Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that's sweet of him to say.. oh god, should I keep on smiling or not? my cheekbones are starting to hurt, my jaw aches a little... how long do I have to keep on smiling , I need to know FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!?!?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"You look amazing under the moonlight..." *nervous giggle* "That was a bit cheesy."
Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that was... wait a minute, what does that suppose to mean, he thinks I only look amazing under the moonlight, so I must only look good in the dark. Oh shit. is it my make-up? I'm wearing too much foundation, or maybe I'm not wearing enough. Fucking shit, fucking zits coming out of nowhere... WHY GOD, WHY WON'T YOU MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL?!?!?*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *why is she so quite* "Babe, you don't have to be shy... It's only me. Talk to me"
Girl: (inside voice) *NOW HE THINKS I'M SHY, ME?! I'M NEVER SHY... HE DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL... WHY???!?!! WHY MUST'NT ANY GUY GET ME. WHY ME, WHY!?!?!?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"Babe, what are you thinking about?"
Girl: (inside voice) *YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!!!! THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY LIFE!!!! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!!!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *WTF is wrong with this girl?! is she retarded or something? The fuck is wrong with my homies setting me up with a dumb bitch?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Girl: (inside voice) *Why is he quite now?!?! he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore?!?!? why is he such a dick to me, I hate him. I hate his fucking guts. the asshole.*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"Um... you know what, we should go catch up with those guys over there..."
Girl: (inside voice)*NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO!!!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *Should I just go, or what...? Oh I know I should tell her I'm getting diarrhea... Nah, fuck that. I'll just get up and leave...*
Guy: "Well... this was nice, but I'm..." *starts to get up*
Girl:"I love you. I've been dreaming about you for years, I can't believe we're finally together. I actually have a photo book of all of your pictures from high school that I took of you. You have such dreamy eyes. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile and when you have a big mac in front of you. You are my everything. I want to marry you. and have your babies. Sarah and Joe. those are our babies. they're so cute. You should see them. I'll show you a picture of them I took from this website. I love you. I don't want to ever be apart from you again. I have a pillow with your name on it. I've never washed it. Because I don't want your name to be washed away from my things. I love you. and I want to marry you. When are you going to propose?"
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: "I have diarrhea."
(Psycho girl edition)
'Why won't you love me?'
Guy:"God, I love your smile. I can look at it forever."
Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that's sweet of him to say.. oh god, should I keep on smiling or not? my cheekbones are starting to hurt, my jaw aches a little... how long do I have to keep on smiling , I need to know FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!?!?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"You look amazing under the moonlight..." *nervous giggle* "That was a bit cheesy."
Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that was... wait a minute, what does that suppose to mean, he thinks I only look amazing under the moonlight, so I must only look good in the dark. Oh shit. is it my make-up? I'm wearing too much foundation, or maybe I'm not wearing enough. Fucking shit, fucking zits coming out of nowhere... WHY GOD, WHY WON'T YOU MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL?!?!?*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *why is she so quite* "Babe, you don't have to be shy... It's only me. Talk to me"
Girl: (inside voice) *NOW HE THINKS I'M SHY, ME?! I'M NEVER SHY... HE DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL... WHY???!?!! WHY MUST'NT ANY GUY GET ME. WHY ME, WHY!?!?!?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"Babe, what are you thinking about?"
Girl: (inside voice) *YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!!!! THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY LIFE!!!! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!!!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *WTF is wrong with this girl?! is she retarded or something? The fuck is wrong with my homies setting me up with a dumb bitch?!*
-Awkward Silence-
Girl: (inside voice) *Why is he quite now?!?! he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore?!?!? why is he such a dick to me, I hate him. I hate his fucking guts. the asshole.*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy:"Um... you know what, we should go catch up with those guys over there..."
Girl: (inside voice)*NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO!!!*
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: (inside voice) *Should I just go, or what...? Oh I know I should tell her I'm getting diarrhea... Nah, fuck that. I'll just get up and leave...*
Guy: "Well... this was nice, but I'm..." *starts to get up*
Girl:"I love you. I've been dreaming about you for years, I can't believe we're finally together. I actually have a photo book of all of your pictures from high school that I took of you. You have such dreamy eyes. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile and when you have a big mac in front of you. You are my everything. I want to marry you. and have your babies. Sarah and Joe. those are our babies. they're so cute. You should see them. I'll show you a picture of them I took from this website. I love you. I don't want to ever be apart from you again. I have a pillow with your name on it. I've never washed it. Because I don't want your name to be washed away from my things. I love you. and I want to marry you. When are you going to propose?"
-Awkward Silence-
Guy: "I have diarrhea."
-The end-
No comments:
Post a Comment