Broken Prayer

---
Forgetting how the plan goes
He kneels down by the door
Shakes his head, he doesn't understand
How God could create such a man
'She's just a girl' his thoughts persists
'Just a whore. Why else would she be dressed like this?'
And just like that, he raises his hands
And prays to God, to see him as another man...

"Please stop me, and take me away
I don't want this to be another face I'll see everyday
If you are listening to me just now
Take these thoughts, these fantasies or just hold me down.
I can't find a reason to do this anymore
Please God, you must believe me
I am not this man they made me be
I am not a monster I do possess a heart
But I lost myself in one quite night
I want you to know that I am sorry
I never wanted this to be my story
I have no place to be, the days are too long
And I have always wanted somewhere to belong
I wanted a family and a little house by the sea
And like everyone I craved the lives of the movie scenes
I loved a girl when I was just a boy of sixteen
You see then, I had my life ahead of me
Now I don't even remember when I stopped being me.
But that doesn't matter anymore
For I have sinned and my soul is gone
But I have only one thing to ask of you
Please God, give this girl the courage to run away
Give her the strength to forget about this day
Give her a heart that loves and forgives anyway
Give her a family that cares for her and protect her
Give her a mother that teaches her to love for another
Give her a father that puts his trust in her
Give her the passion to go far in life
Give her the passion to find the love of her life
But most importantly give her the faith she'll need
To believe that people are good
Even those that make mistakes."
---

Untitled

You don't have to cry anymore
You don't need to yell no more
I'll hold and carry you in my arms
But in a little while we'll have to part
I stood with you in the pouring rain
The water it washed away the stains
Your cries are loud, you're wasting away
But I know now why
You've always been this way.
---
I was young and I was a fool
Thinking it was cool to break every rule
You came to me, you were a friend
And I had no one to warn me yet
You made me feel like I belonged
Soon enough it all went wrong.

Now I can't look back
I'll forever belong in the dark
I'll never be that little girl anymore
Before you came and stole away her soul
And the years passed and that girl grew up
With nothing but a wish full of death;
But when you find me, I want you to know:
---
The fairytales were all for me
To be a Cinderella I believed
But you came and destroyed those dreams
Leaving me in the sheets; ashamed in bleed
I'll never trust anyone again; I can't love myself
I'll never live to see the light
I'll die alone in this bed tonight.
---
 

A lovers dialogue pt.2

Lovey-Dovey moments:

(Psycho girl edition)

'Why won't you love me?'

Guy:"God, I love your smile. I can look at it forever."

Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that's sweet of him to say.. oh god, should I keep on smiling or not? my cheekbones are starting to hurt, my jaw aches a little... how long do I have to keep on smiling , I need to know FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!?!?!*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy:"You look amazing under the moonlight..." *nervous giggle* "That was a bit cheesy."

Girl: (inside voice) *Aw, that was... wait a minute, what does that suppose to mean, he thinks I only look amazing under the moonlight, so I must only look good in the dark. Oh shit. is it my make-up? I'm wearing too much foundation, or maybe I'm not wearing enough. Fucking shit, fucking zits coming out of nowhere... WHY GOD, WHY WON'T YOU MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL?!?!?*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy: (inside voice) *why is she so quite* "Babe, you don't have to be shy... It's only me. Talk to me"

Girl: (inside voice) *NOW HE THINKS I'M SHY, ME?! I'M NEVER SHY... HE DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL... WHY???!?!! WHY MUST'NT ANY GUY GET ME. WHY ME, WHY!?!?!?!*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy:"Babe, what are you thinking about?"

Girl: (inside voice) *YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!!!! THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY LIFE!!!! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!!!*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy: (inside voice) *WTF is wrong with this girl?! is she retarded or something? The fuck is wrong with my homies setting me up with a dumb bitch?!*

-Awkward Silence-

Girl: (inside voice) *Why is he quite now?!?! he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore?!?!? why is he such a dick to me, I hate him. I hate his fucking guts. the asshole.*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy:"Um... you know what, we should go catch up with those guys over there..."

Girl: (inside voice)*NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO!!!*

-Awkward Silence-

Guy: (inside voice) *Should I just go, or what...? Oh I know I should tell her I'm getting diarrhea... Nah, fuck that. I'll just get up and leave...*

Guy: "Well... this was nice, but I'm..." *starts to get up*

Girl:"I love you. I've been dreaming about you for years, I can't believe we're finally together. I actually have a photo book of all of your pictures from high school that I took of you. You have such dreamy eyes. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile and when you have a big mac in front of you. You are my everything. I want to marry you. and have your babies. Sarah and Joe. those are our babies. they're so cute. You should see them. I'll show you a picture of them I took from this website. I love you. I don't want to ever be apart from you again. I have a pillow with your name on it. I've never washed it. Because I don't want your name to be washed away from my things. I love you. and I want to marry you. When are you going to propose?"

-Awkward Silence-

Guy: "I have diarrhea."

 

-The end-

A lovers dialogue

First Date: #1

(The classic dinner)

'Hey asshole, I'm not done talking'

Cheesy Guy: "Wow. You are so beautiful. Excuse me while I adjust to this insanity of beauty that is you."

Girl: "Um.... thanks."

Show-off Prick: "You know, I never been to this place before, I'm always popping at them *insert SUPER expensive restaurant names here*"

Girl: "So.... what do you usually do in your free time?"

Awful Douche bag: "You know, partying and fucking at some more parties, you know?!!" *LOUD obnoxious laugh*

Girl: "Sounds like fun..." *inside voice: THE FUCK I'M DOING HERE?!?!?!*

Cheesy Guy: "Baby... hey baby, I know you're wearing that dress like that to make me jealous.." *creepy staring*

Girl: "I  actually have school tomorrow, so can we...."

Cheesy Guy: "Oh you have school tomorrow? What you have homework or something?"

Girl: "Yes."

Nasty Guy: "Well baby, how about me and you go home and I do some "work" for you?" *creepy/cheesy/asshole-y wink*

Girl: "I'm actually getting tired of this bull..."

Asshole: "Yeah baby, you do look tired. Must be from carrying Dem boobs all day, how about I hold 'em for you?" *creepy giggle followed by creepy staring*

Girl: *silent glaring*

Asshole: "Baby, let me be honest with you..." *Pause for dramatic reason* "I never get this feeling I'm getting right now, and you know when I do... I need me some..."

Girl: "Let me guess.. You need some sexual healing?"

Dickface: "THAT'S RIGHT BABY! Damn baby... you is..."

Girl: "Listen to me, Ass wipe. First of all: I'm not your baby nor will I ever be your baby. Second of all I have no idea what the fuck you think you're doing, but this is not the way to impress a woman and it's definitely not the way to get her wet, you got that Dickweed?"

Asshole: "I jus..."

Girl: "No, I'm not done talking. Third of all you think this fake swag is getting you somewhere, let me be the first to tell you that it won't. You look and sound like an ass clown, and no offense to asses or clowns. If you want to finish this date, you're going to have to start acting like a normal fucking person, OK?"

Asshole: "Yea..."

Girl:"Stop! don't start talking again until you pull your mouth out of your ass, I don't want to hear more of your bullshit. We're going to sit here and enjoy a dinner like the rest of these civilized folk, and we're not going to get jiggy afterward. So no more "my dick is happy he 'came' just for you" nonsense. I'm a woman, not a fucking vagina with breasts. Don't let me say this again, OK?"

Asshole:"Ok. I'm sorry..."

Girl:"Apology accepted. Now what are you ordering... What's your name again?"

Guy:"I'm Mike. And you're Selena. It's nice to meet you."

Girl:"OK, Mike. Let's get this date over with.. Shall we?"

-The end-

 

Those words

I wanted to tell him how I felt, right there where he was standing, I wanted to go up to him and tell him, what I’ve always longed to say, what I’ve always dreamed of saying but never had the chance to. He stood there, staring at me from a distance, he had a girl with him, she was talking and laughing and she seemed like one of those girls you took out of a movie screen, so beautiful and so alive. His friends stood together in a group, everyone talking with each other, admiring their stories and their lives. The girl seemed to be the center of that group, everyone looked at her, all those that stood far from her leaned in to hear what she had to say, and she held everything and everyone without much of an effort. She was the kind of girl that you admire and you simply had to, you aren’t left with much choice.

I kept looking at him, maybe If l looked enough I would gather up the courage to go over and talk to him, or maybe If I looked enough, I would memorize his face, his features and have them forever stored in my memory, whenever I’m alone, wherever life takes me I would still have his image with me, I would always remember him the way he looked tonight, so young and so invincible.

I can’t ever believe that we went wrong, now that I can see him within an approachable distance from me; I wonder why we didn’t make it. I loved him and he loved me. I was his world and he was mine. But what happened? He knew me, inside and out. The parts of me that I was scared of ever showing anyone, I showed them to him, he was there holding my hand, holding me closer to him when I was at my darkest self. He knew everything there was to know about me, and I knew him… I loved him; I’ve loved him more than I loved anyone. I believed in him, I stood by him and I trusted him. To me, he was the truth and the reason.

We were only teenagers when our story begun to write itself, maybe we didn’t know how to be anything but teenagers in love. We didn’t want to grow up and face the world, but when we finally had to, we realized that we couldn’t face it together.

That was then, and this is now. He’s not mine and I’m not his, and we’re not together. How weird is it that everything we were and everything we’ve ever shared, means absolutely nothing now because we’re not together anymore. He’s over there with the new girl, he has to make some new memories now that will replace ours, and he’s going to start sharing with her. And that time that was once ours is gone; this is their time now. I don’t belong in this time. And I’ll never will.

And just like that, I stood up and held my bag, walked over to the exit door; this was all I had to do. Simply exit. He won’t follow me and I won’t expect him to, and those words I so longed to say are written in this piece of paper. And are now burned with it.

Honey

Walk with me honey come and hear me through
I have a message for you a list of things to do
First we need to take you home and grab a bag
Leave everything behind but one picture of the past
Now listen to me and close your eyes
I'm here to save you I know where the story lies
I've seen your eyes and I've known your type
You're the girl that doesn't feel the need to fight
People around you had took you for a ride
Even a boy thought he'd got you all figured out
But you're so different you know it as I do
You have no one even when everyone's with you
You look around for a face in the crowd
Someone to say hi without you wondering why
You can't trust those around you, you run and hide away
From these feelings these lies that became your only way
But you're young sweetheart, do you understand?
You won't find that love you need in any man
Hold on to your faith and dream some more
you're not "wrong" you're not "nothing" and you're not a "whore"
You're simply a girl that I once knew
When you were only a baby I left you
I couldn't have you because I was scared
You would grow up to make the same mistakes
I'm writing you this letter as my only way to show you
You are loved by me even though I've never known you
 

boobies2die4

I spend the good amount of those last two days researching (which is a fancier term for googling) and listening/reading all things feminist, I have came out of it alive and sane (I think...) but one thing I'm sure of is women have a hard time accepting other women's choices and lifestyles, let me explain...
First thing that I should clear is I'm not a feminist nor do I ever claim to be one, I actually prefer not to self-proclaim any labels (I am a hipster like that) the reason why I say this, is because I simply believe in everyone doing whatever the fuck everyone wants to do Thou shalt do whatever the fuck thou pleases, right? I couldn't possibly put it more bluntly than that!
When it comes to feminism of this day and age its not about women anymore, its not about gender equality, its about more than that. tracing back the history of feminism you'll see how women worked and fought for a better quality of life, for a better chance to work and compete with the male dominates, but today's modern feminists already have that handed for them, I mean they know the path is already half way there, women do have better chances and if they're denied those chances they know how to go about getting them.. of course I'm mostly talking about European cultures and western cultures where oppression (although might exists) doesn't really reflect the majority of women as it does in other parts of the world.
So my dilemma is this: why can't these feminists get along better? I mean they're all working towards the same goal, aren't they? liberation and further advancement of women, so what went wrong, ladies?!
there's this group  that has been making quite the "breaking news" these days on the online community, there's basically a group of women who protests about different things and demand action, but get this, they do it topless... I mean WHAAAAT?! this is the 21st century and a set of boobs are still considered shocking? get real!
I don't mind what this group is doing, I for once actually have no problem with nudity, we've all seen a naked body once or twice before in our lives, nothing special about it, aye? (back me up here, so I won't feel like the only lonely pervert in the room) and those girls know what the men want to see and they deliver it, I actually have read it in many blogs that the only reason the men were here is to see crazy chicks with nice breasts... I mean, hey, least they're honest about it, huh? FEMEN (which is the name of the group, I just realised that I hadn't mentioned them officially by slogan, I guess a 'group of topless protesters' would've been fast and quick publicity, apparently their marketing dept isn't so smart!) is doing what it's doing and it's getting the attention (although it might be the wrong kind of attention, honestly I don't think it will last, I mean seriously breasts could get boring) but they're doing all of this in the name of feminism, which is like a slap in the face and a kick in the butt for the rest of feminists who actually have to cover up and use something else to get attention... their brains! how hard is it for them to do that when you got these perfectly polished women baring their skin to the world and writing only a few words across their chests to demonstrate their message. So basically what you got here is the war between boobs and brains... and the winner is...? C'mon!
My personal problem with FEMEN isn't the nudity, as I've mentioned before (I'm all in for that, never underestimate the power a pair of breasts can have) its something else, I've read about this group and I've seen them in action (obviously you have to go check them out on Vimeo cause YouTube is so old-fashioned and so prude..yuck!) but this group seems really ignorant about other cultures and religions, you have the leader of the group claiming all religions are bad for women, and you know what, that's her opinion, I'm not even going to argue with it, so you have these western women showing no respect or even tolerance for women's choices in a different part of the world, how inconvenient is that? when they claim that all they're doing is freeing women everywhere... I mean call me stupid but how are you going to free a woman when you don't even know her or understand her situation first? what works for you isn't going to work for someone else.
I am not baffled by the attention this group is getting (notice how I keep saying "group" and not "movement" only because if this turns into that then I'm on a first one-way ticket plane to Mars) people seem to care about the topless women rather than the messages those women are trying to get through, and you know why is that, It's because those women don't even know what their message is, they're just standing there naked with a bunch of words scattered across their bodies and thats' that, what is the point to all of this? I honestly have no idea.
I don't want to be attacking this group (I realise I'm starting to sound like my grandma right now) but if you want to "liberate" and "free" women, try to understand their culture and lifestyles first, Muslim women wear Hijab and Burka for all different reasons, and believe it or not they sometime choose it, because THEY WANT IT not because they're being forced to wear it by some stereotypical/dominate Muslim arab male. stop saying things like "Better naked than a burka" because you're not really doing anything but further adding to the objectification of women that honestly doesn't need much help from you.

To examine my earlier statement: women have a hard time accepting other women's choices and lifestyles... I guess I just proved my own point.