Only Yours

I want to be yours. There's not a single bone in my body that doesn't want you. When I'm with you I know I'm safe... saved from myself, from the demons I battle with everyday, from the lies I can't no longer escape, from everything wrong I once made, from the shame and guilt and that little happiness that never came my way.

I want to be yours. There's no one else for me but you. It was you who made me accept all the wrong that's in my head, it was you who held me in when that side of me bared and didn't pretend, it was you who told me then that from this day you can't ever love me less, it was you who unmasked me and showed me the beauty that hid in what I always called ugly.

I want to be yours. I want to be the only fantasy you think about. I want to be the words that come out of your mouth, I want to be the dream that's in your mind, I want to be those dirty thoughts you think about, I want to be the last thing you crave at night, I want to be your only woman, your one family, your only life and holy life.

I want to be yours. Take me in and keep me in. In a world where everyone has something to say and only few of them stick around and stay, you proved me wrong in every way, you made me want to live again and give myself completely to you without ever second guessing a single move I make along the way.

I want to be yours. My love for you is not to be compressed with words. The only man I seek to please, the only vision I see, the only future I have believed, the only truth out there for me... Yo, can't you see?

Only yours is what I've always longed to be.

Until next time

 

I was going to cut my hair like Halle Berry,

but then I remembered that I look nothing like

Halle Berry.
(true story)

 

 

First week of May has already passed so fast like me in my old high school hall or in public places mostly. I have decided to do this thing where I finally own up to my actions and my laziness, so basically I had to leave London and the beauty it is, shove that to the back of my head, the possibility of going to Thailand in June, the endless summer gigs and festivals I could've attended... all that for my home country, yes that's right, I have decided to join the army and give my blood for my people. Kind of.

Actually I've cut my vacation short and went back to college to clean up my act before graduating, I don't want those past years to count for nothing, so I'm re-taking some courses to hopefully A's them and have them shine bright like a diamond on my degree later on. I am becoming an adult. Kind of.

Also in the spirit of adulthood, I have learned some valuable lessons, first off the internet is evil. I will put my online life to rest (yeah, I don't believe me either) actually I'm going to put it to a coma (that's more like it) because I'm just so tired of all the news I've been reading lately, teenagers committing suicide everywhere, rape statistics going up, that woman who stabbed her boyfriend numerous times and cut his throat and finally America and its condescending everything. I need a break. Kind of.

It's about that time I started appreciating those people around me, I have an amazing family behind me, we might not see eye-to-eye on everything but we definitely do agree on the important stuff. I love them more than I can say. Thank you, Leo Sayer. My friends who are as crazy and obnoxious as all friends should be, even though we parted and went separate ways to universities in different continents, we've all started together, we've all started this shit together and well I guess you can say we've all started from the bottom together. Thank you, Drake. My brainy cousins who have made amazing career accomplishments while still in their twenties! so proud, and I guess I should dedicate a song as well... I hate you so much right now? Kind of?

I have began writing pieces (I like to call them prose but that's debatable) since I was eighteen years old, so it's only been three years (yay for me and math) and the way I write has changed but I still have a long way to go, what most people don't seem to understand is that you are not what you write, there are many versions to a person, for example there's the boring version of you (that's you with your extended family) there's the aggressive version of you (that's you backing your friends when shit goes down) and so on. I like to write and create a story because I feel that's the best way to do it, people get interested when there's a mystery involved, especially when that mystery is shadowing a tragedy. (yeah I don't know what I just said either) but I want you to know that if you read anything here then interpret it the way you like, just don't link that interpretation with me and I'll appreciate you for it. Kind of.

Well I guess this is it, I don't have anything else to say... Oh yeah before I go I want to leave you with a parting thought, since I'm talking about "versions of yourself" and "people's interpretation" I guess I should let you on a little secret, some people are just ridiculous and I am not even going to dwell on that, all I got to say is what I've always said, don't ever listen to those who bring you down or insult you cross them out of your life with a big Fuck You.

And with that being said I'm out.

Kind of!

I'd love to speak with Leonard

 

"I'm not going down on your memory
I'm not rubbing my face in it any more
I'm going to yawn
I'm going to stretch
I'm going to put a knitting needle
up my nose
and poke my brain
I don't want to love you
for the rest of my life
I want your skin
to fall off my skin. "

 

 "Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again." - C.S. Lewis

Danny

Happy birthday to you
Danny you are now twenty two
I miss you and I bet your boobies miss me too
I'm writing you this thing because I've got to tell you boo
Who else knew boo also rhymed with too?
I want to take the time to confess my feelings for you
Don't worry, I'll make sure to be as creepy as you ;)
You my sweet friend have an ass that makes me blue
I'm sad that I can never fill a dress the way you always do
And to tell you a secret that I always hid from you
Your boobs are the number one reason why I'm friends with you
Your boobs make me believe that dreams can and do come true
Your boobs are the center of everything that is good in you
*your boobs your boobs your boobs boobs boobs*
I'm writing you this "bad poetry" because I want to make it clear
I wish you were here so I can tell you face to face my dear
Well it doesn't matter because this thing I'll tell you is still sincere
Now how can I end with a rhyme here? Um, what about Kashmir?
You are a true friend that I'm lucky to have met when I was a kid
I'm lucky to have you there to share those desires of wanting to run away (eighth grade)
I'm lucky to have you there to hate on most people in school together (senior year)
I'm lucky to have you there to call and scare off creepy high dude (freshmen year in college)
I'm lucky to have you there to help me whenever
I feel like I couldn't do it anymore (second year in college)
I'm lucky to have you there every time I disappear
and come back; no one but you gets how much I need that
I'm lucky to have you in my life
I'm lucky to have found a sister in you

I love you.

Put an onion ring on it

Hi, future ex-husband this one for you...

As you can guess from the title (can you guess it? I kill those puns every time man), I am going to talk about the single life but hold up... I am going to explain what it's really like, I am going to shed some light on exactly what this single life is all about. So let's do this thing

First off you should know that I'm writing this post while laying on my coach wearing yesterday's PJ's... that's right, because I have no essence of a dating life, I don't need to get my ass up the coach to do anything... that is anything but fart, of course.

Second off when you're single you don't have to share, let's think about that for a second shall we... Say you go out to the cinema to watch a movie you can order yourself a giant cup of pop-corn and a giant cup of coke, you won't even have to worry about trying to place these cups in a strategic place where they're close to you but far from your date so even if they try to reach out and have some they can't because you'll keep an eye on them to predict when they will be making their movement and as soon as they start to adjust in their seat your ninja reflexes are on fire and it would look as if you were in the fucking Matrix trying to save your precious pop corn from the savage that is your date... Do you see just how exhausting that was? I mean bloody hell, you won't have to worry about that anymore.

Third off when you're single you will be constantly harassed by your friends to "get out there" every single person out there knows what it's like to have a friend or two in a committed relationship who for some reason think just because it worked for them then it must work for you too, so they will try and find you someone, fix you up and all that shit, as if you wore a permanent sign that says Desperate Loser In Need Of A Lay, all the while asking you "Don't you ever wanna find love?" and you know what I would do if I'm in that situation, this is exactly what I would say: "Do you know how many times I find love? whenever I fucking want to. I found love just two hours ago when I went down to the store and bought myself a chocolate cake, a chocolate muffin and a Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip ice cream. Seriously I was in fucking paradise just then. I ain't got to worry about finding love, if I need it I know where to get it. love is my bitch."

Only when you're single do you get to be as dirty as you want to be, only when you're single do you get to be a total selfish asshole and not share anything with anyone... not even fucking air! and finally only when you're single do you ever get to feel like you're the question and the mother-fucking answer.