‘do you know what it means to forgive, my child, it is when the love; that leftover scrambled love you have inside of your heart for someone, that very love that goes nowhere, buried within deep scars of the past, that very love, no longer pulls you down in painful bitterness, no longer wounds you in hopelessness, but rather, channels itself in urges to grant wishes and prayers of wellness for that person.
i know it is difficult to accept the lost potentiality of love. i know how hard it is to struggle with the heavy need to let go of it, but you see..
not all love is meant to blossom into a life story.
when love draws two people together, growth is inevitable, some grow together, while others grow apart. people change in the course of time, not all change is agreeable, and that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing, it just means the chapter has come to an end.
wish them well.
release their memory of the disappointment you unfairly placed upon it. remember my darling..
people can only meet you as far as they've met themselves.
you can not demand change out of someone. nothing that is forced will ever remain, not genuinely, my child. remember, you young people claim to love and know love, but as soon as you find this “one”, you turn into enemies, how is that? how can love become a battlefield? that is not love. that is attachment to an idea of how love should be. that is what happens when you believe you have found “the one” that fits that idea of how you want your love to be. you fall into a terrible abyss. because, you see, you keep growing, and your idea of love changes, and their idea of love changes as well, now you are two strangers unfamiliar with each other, how does that happen?
you are both salves to your minds, my child.
in-love with the idea of love. love isn’t an idea. love is a practice. love is giving and sharing. not demanding, not expecting the meeting of those demands. i will tell you something, i know your heart is hurting right now, i know you are struggling to let go, but it is not the love that you are mourning, it is the effort you believe you have wasted. that is where your grief resides underneath all of that anger and resentment. you see, you are being selfish. thinking only of yourself. you’re saying: i did this, i did that, and i was met with nothing in return. maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not. that’s beside the point.
it could be your love that saved someone’s life. it could be your love that mirrored a person into a new path of self-discovery. it could be because of your love that someone can learn to love themselves into transformation. you will never know. and you shouldn’t because it’s not your part to play anymore.
do no poison your heart with entitlement, my child.
remember what i told you: love should free your lover, not keep them confined in cages. the moment you feel your love is imprisoning them, the moment you feel their love is enslaving you, know that that is not love, and you should let go for your sake and theirs.
no one that has loved genuinely, can ever hate.
even if they’ve misused your love, like you keep saying. even then. especially then, it’s when you wish them well. because remember, nobody ever regrets having loved fully. nobody ever forgets being loved fully.
it could be the memory of your love that shields them to believe in a joy longing to embrace them again. it could be the memory of your love that pushes them to find themselves over and over again. and you should hold tight to the memory of their love, it should be your guiding hand to always remember to dig deeper, to plant the seed there, water and nurture compassion in your heart; for yourself and others, no matter the lingering ache, the drought and the suffering you feel inside.
you are going to be okay, my child.
a heart that loves will always know how and when to forgive,
and
welcome back tenderness after such a long absence.'
