my brother's bursts of laughter
were like water bottles
to a heavy grief
he who carried
the lives
and rescued joy
from the ruins of skeletons
i wish i knew how to thank him
for the words
falling
like discolored confetti
in an empty room
i wish i knew how to thank him
for the prayers
soaked in tears
no one knew about
for the prayers
that sheltered me
the ones
he prayed for me
i wish i knew how to thank him
for standing, like the earth;
tall & bearing
each moment
collapsing over his shoulders
with the
salt & bitterness of an ocean
i am sorry
for leaning so hard
for sprouting away from you
from our mother
forgive me
i never learned to say thank you
for saving me
