Blind Date: #1
'Are you sure that's you?!'
Guy: You look nothing like your profile picture!
Girl: Is that a compliment?
Guy: More of a statement.
-Awkward Silence-
Girl: So you just moved here? how do you like it so far?
Guy: S'right. I knew a lot people around here from Facebook before I moved so the transition wasn't difficult. People were friendly... still you can't believe everything on Facebook. *glaring*
Girl: Yeah people here are super friendly you won't ever feel homesick.
Guy: Right. You don't mind me asking... how old are you?
Girl: That's a red flag right there
Guy: I mean I'm just saying... hope you're not a cougar or anything
Girl: You know what? You're so rude, how dare you?!
Guy: Clam down, it was just a joke... kind of.
Girl: if you must know I've had a few bad months and I'm still recovering from that...
Guy: What you fought the devil or something? It looks like he won..
Girl: I had a severe emotional stress and it took it's tool on me
Guy: Wow... okay let's try and move on from that
Girl: You're not so perfect yourself, you know? you don't resemble your profile picture that much!
Guy: Yeah.. I had an afro back then that I got rid of now, but I didn't get rid of my entire face, placed a different face there and photoshopped that one and then put it as my profile picture.
Girl: It can't be that bad...
Guy: No, no honey trust me. It's bad. I thought I was getting a Beyoncé but I got a Whoopi Goldberg instead.
Girl: That's just wrong...
Guy: Well how do you think that makes me feel? I had so many expectations, man... I mean shit. all I got was shit.
-Awkward Silence-
Girl: You know what I'll leave if I'm making you this uncomfortable but just remember that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, OK?
Guy: Well in that case you'd be so lucky to get a blind bastard
Girl: Why are you such an ass? Are looks the only thing you want in someone?
Guy: Why yes, they're quite important... and I'm just trying to prepare you for the rejection you'll face more of later on in life, I mean if anything I'm actually doing you a favor. You should just quit while you're ahead.
Girl: Well you can keep your favors to yourself. I don't need help, especially not from the likes of you. I might have "photoshopped" my face on my profile picture, but it's still mine. I might look different now than that pretty happy girl on Facebook, but that's still me. And if that picture was only getting me shallow men like yourself then today I'm taking it off and I'll go post a new one of my face right now as it is, without any make up, without any re-touches.
Guy: Good luck with that
Girl: Good luck living as a superficial dick for the rest of your life.
-The end-
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