17

In the cold night we escape the dark
Leaning in I whisper
'Welcome to my life...
Sweet agony, oh my god, be patient for we are not smart
Let me in clean me out, I wanna begin with a brand new start
Where i'll be a little kid playing thoughtlessly in my father's crib
Oh I wish I'd never have to face the amount of pain I'll later embrace
I wish I could just stay still and never encounter the devil's grin
I wish I never had to make any friend, just so I could get an enemy instead
I wish I knew how much my childhood meant, I would have never left my parents bed
I wish I've known my mother's love, waking up at six o'clock
Ensuring that I always rest, she stays up by my bed
Showing me affection in every way, at seventeen it's hard to say
"I love you mom with all my heart" you're the light that guides me through the coldest nights
The power it took me to leave you behind, I always ask myself the reason why
I never knew how much you meant to me, you only fight me just to save me
You made me who I am today, tomorrow is coming to change that away
The world isn't as magical as you said, I'm afraid to take one step
Don't look back at how things used to be, this is Me this is my reality
Oh lord, please remember me I'm the girl with the empty dairy
with nothing to write and nothing for you to read
It's save to say I've lived enough to see
My life in all it's glory in every picture there's a story
Set the fire watch it burn, taking away all my desire.'

To those that matter

One thing I feel so passionate about is Teen Suicide, I am completely against it i can't stress how much my heart aches every time I hear that a teen has taken their own life. Suicide is never an option to me I don't see it as taking the easy way out because there's nothing easy about making that decision,  although to some it may take a small situation that would trigger such strong emotions that in the heat of the moment they will decide that nothing matters anymore. Teenagers need to realise one thing and one thing only Life is so much more than being a teenager in high school, first of all high school isn't the prime of your life, not even college is, high school is a period in time where you might have it good or might have it bad but eventually it does end, don't feel bad because you're being bullied and people hate you or starting gossip about you, because guess what, in life you will find people like that, some people would hate you right on the spot for the way you dress the way you talk whatever it is they will judge you right on the spot and they will remain consistent with that judgement, and they will be people who would bully you non stop to get some sort of reaction form you all of this happens like its nothing, like there's no consequences whatsoever and most of the time there isn't. 

You need to realise that if all of this is happing and you feel like you are not loved you don't belong, you don't have anyone… guess what YOU do and that person is YOURSELF. respect and love and appreciate your individuality, wear your flag high, the moment you realise just how precious you are and how important your life is and can be you will become transformed completely, you need to understand that you can make something of yourself, and i'm not talking about a fairytale i'm talking about you going to college finding a major that interests you working for an organisation that you love, doing volunteer work, marrying someone, sharing your life with others all of this is so normal and can happen to anyone, and as normal and universal that is it is also magical and beautiful. 

Don't waste your time on those who are wasted, those are the people that don't matter and in the grand picture they are not even there. Read books, watch movies, listen to music, get inspired, become motivated, discover your interests, find your idols, get a plan, work, work even harder, set a goal, achieve that goal, then set another one… realise just how much you could do. 

Please don't ever let anyone bring you down. feel comfortable in your skin and become your own person. 

maybe the best words are the ones left unspoken

I saw this video on the internet recently that truly made me question myself, a teenage girl committed suicide after being constantly bullied by her peers, now let's think about that for a second this is certainly not the first teen suicide story nor will it be the last (the fact that it had became so common to hear about them brings me chills) what shocked me was the cruelty of the people bulling her, obviously bullies are cruel, though there's no justification for it but they are I was just sad over how she needed somebody to be there for her and she couldn't find any. Teenagers tend to be so dramatic and that is understandable everything is sort of blown out of proportion they tend to think that high school is the prime time (which it isn't) but they want the friends, the social life, the relationships... etc. the moment they leave high school and grow up and start working they'll realise there's more to life than a Facebook    relationship status.
I only wish that the girl could've waited a little, if only she had made some sort of a plan or set a goal to when she gets out of high school, to look at the long run where does she see herself but there's no use to saying this now, I only hope other teens would now be more appreciated of their own lives, I don't know what else is there to say. 

drama mama

People, people... oh those people! Alright so it's been so long since I had a good rant on the internet the reason is I honestly ran out of fucks to give, so obviously since I couldn't be a proper nagging asshole I decided to be just an asshole and shut up for once.. it was kinda working but it's time to take a break.
So this post is entirely dedicated to bitches and by bitches I mean annoying bitches, it is also dedicated to miserable dickheads who need to clam the EFF down! So I'm having a beef today which you can't really describe as one since its not really on my mind per-say but I'm thinking about it right now in order to blog about it so I'm really just nagging to get shit out of my system but it's not really on my system (you follow..?) let me give you the short scope, I hate bitches who try way too much like honestly clam down, your ass is way too hyper for me right now, girls are very sneaky about everything and nothing, its too much like, who cares, you know? they have this big production about everything in their lives, 'oh yesterday i went to get coffee at this place and this really cute guy looked at my direction now i'm sure he wasn't really looking at me since he only did it once, but maybe he was, you know? he was also wearing my fave color and had hair on his head ..... blah blah blah' yeah yeah GIRL BYE!
now to my personal favourite dickheads or male who are tiny bitches... whatever you like, now a man should be a man, I love men who are defined by the beautiful motto "No Fucks Given" they literally jump out of bed and start their day with no absolute reflection of what happened yesterday, they just don't care they really just wanna get the day over with have as much fun as they could and go to sleep to do it all over again tomorrow.
Seriously though in all seriousness I feel like sometimes its just way too much to deal with this, we should have a national holiday and name it 'Protect Me From Your Bullshit -Day'
LORD AMEN!