New Ties

Life is tough but once and awhile 

a crack is made for those who 

try

I've given birth to Nora when I was twenty four; a little bump along the way, a silly drunken night, one Christmas holiday; all the different ways my mother explained how wrong it would be to have this child that wasn't even alive to witness such blind hate twisted to be justified. Nora's dad flee as soon as the word came out and I would have never expected anything from a man who values his pain over everything ; and because of it refuses to stand. I left home as soon as I felt the walls creep in, a family tie that shredded over everything I once believed in. My father did nothing but send me away with money; telling me 'It'll be okay honey.' I'll never forget the looks or the faces, of my family regretting the choices I was making, 'You've disgraced us.', 'How can you not see? how wrong this is for everyone in this family!' and with only that I left;  hearing these final words come out of my mother's chest.

I've made a living working as a waitress in a small town diner that wasn't at all that sophisticated, An old woman opened her home for me and gave me a job to support me and my family. I could never thank you enough for what you did; you've given me everything I thought I would forever miss. 'Don't cry; my sweet child... you have every reason in you to fight.' Every time I felt like I should just give in, her words would guide me to the light within. My mother; my chosen loving mother, I would never forget; how you took me in when the world rejected in disrespect. How you would come in every night tuck my little baby to bed and kiss her a goodnight. How you would sing that beautiful lullaby that only with it she sleeps peacefully every night. And as you lay on the ground; I'm forever bond to you... my chosen mother, I will forever love you.

I've moved to a new apartment when Nora turned three; a little place that felt cosy and was exactly what we need. I brought Nora to where I work everyday; I've never seen her smile so bright, I've never seen my daughter have as much as fun as she had. Everyone became a family; a group of strangers that gave me something, my own family had contempt it. A group of strangers that became more; much more, than anything I could've ever hoped for. I'm happy; I'm so happy, as I hold my daughter with me, in a place where love is the one thing I'm sure I'll never run out of.

Nora will grow up soon, and I will be waiting for the days where she would finally bloom and understand that the world isn't as kind as she might think, that the fairytales don't just exists, that the pain in heartache can't be cured with anything, that the love she'll feel might sometimes be missed; or wasted on someone who doesn't deserve it, that the only way for her to be is to feel everything else around her fearlessly; that it might be hard to show her soft side, and its even harder to trust that side with any man. If only I could have all the time in the world, to teach you all the things I was never taught, If only I could keep your innocence alive I'll never let you lose that shine in your eyes, If only I could be there in your deepest most secret moments of despair; If only I could be there I'll hold you in my arms, always... the same way I'm doing tonight.

Nora is sleeping in her bed; finally resting her little head, I've checked to see if she would blink she does this habit whenever I sing. Nora is almost four years old; how the time passes so fast, I'll never know... My little princess; my everything, no one would ever harm you as long as I shall live.