Wrong Perceptions

Letting go of wrong perceptions is next. I am trying to understand my feelings better, the different energies, each emotion is transmitting. My life is like a glass of water; at this very instance, and I do not wish to add any substance to it, like how water is pure and transparent, still and stable, that is how I wish to be as I sit before myself.

Its quite hard to distinguish your feelings from a beloved, when they are suffering, and are coming to you with a problem, your very first instinct is to help eliminate it, and because you feel such deep connection to them; every feeling, every word, every thought, they are projecting, you associate with yours, its very natural to feel very intensely about their suffering, preparing to do all it takes to end it, but the thing is, if you are not in a peaceful state of mind yourself, if you are struggling with your own wrong perceptions and ideas, you will not be able to offer them the help or support you wish to. I find that peace of mind is rather easy to obtain but its quite difficult to maintain, it takes practice, distinguishing your own self (with all its associations and different variations) from others, even though we are all connected, we are also separate in these thoughts that arise everyday, if you feel like you are not in a serene place, no matter how much you care about the other, don't take on their pain, its very heavy to carry the luggages of two, have it together for yourself, then embrace the suffering of another.

Recently I was becoming too fixated upon problems that weren't mine, because I care so deeply about this person, I took on their pain and suffering as my own, and I associated myself with their thoughts, in  return, I wasn't able to help because I wasn't ready nor prepared for that. I became angry for (at) them, taking on an energy they have blocked, forcing clarity by asking questions, chasing them with half-baked solutions, all of this happened because I wasn't listening with an open mind and heart, I was only listening to their feelings in relation to mine.

That's where wrong perception manifests itself, I do believe providing your presence for a beloved is how you come to learn about them, and how could you love if you are not there? but in order for your love to be true and wholesome, you ought to look within you, are you able to listen with compassion, deeply listen without interrupting the process with opinions and suggestions? are you prepared to continue to listen even when its causing you suffering? are you able to distinguish their hurt feelings from yours? are you able to accept the pain that lies in store?

No two can go through each other without fire, so if you're in a negative place and your beloved is in one, you will both be stuck, dragging each other down, because neither of you is ready for the ability nor possesses the wisdom to lift the other up.